The Ultimate Cure For Depression

As life keeps getting more difficult, we all get depressed about something at least occaisionally. I know I do. Whether it's about lost love, revenge, or having to work everyday. Well, while this is not a solution to any of those problems (or any problem, for that matter), maybe it'll help you feel better. Don't dipute me, because this does work.

All you need are the following things: a box of chocolate candy, a copy of the Bible, a cd player, and a cd by Elvis Presley.

Step #1: Put on some comfortable clothes that you can lounge or relax in.

Step #2: Open the chocolate. You may also need Coca-Cola or milk. I wouldn't recommend alcohol in this case, since it destroys the effect of the other things.

Step #3: Open the Bible to Proverbs Chapter 1.

Step #4: Start the Elvis cd. You may also use a cassette, LP or 8-track; whatever technology you have available. Although I wouldn't recommend 45's, because you have to keep changing the records and this is supposed to be a relaxing experience. If you have a jukebox full of Elvis 45's, or a record changer and a stack of at least 10 Elvis singles, that would be fine.

Step #5: Start reading Proverbs while listening to Elvis and munching on the chocolate. The occaisional sip of Coke or Milk will help along the way.

Step #6: You should start feeling better.

Step #7: You can stop reading if you run out of chocolate or if the music is over. Or, better yet, if you fall asleep. If you fall asleep, you may wake up refreshed and definitely not depressed.

Step #8: Repeat steps 1-7 as necessary.

If people around you think you are crazy for doing this, then you can tell them: "at least I'm not depressed about it."

Then, tell them to try it, because even if you're not depressed, you'll still feel better.